Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
