god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
