i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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