i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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