Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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