I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
