Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
