I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
