Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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