He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
