I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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