There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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