sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
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It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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