4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
