If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
