I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize