Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
