once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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