tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
