Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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