Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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