They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
