So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize