theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
