He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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