If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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