Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize