Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Is Oprah even human
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
