real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
