If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My legs feel like baby dolphins
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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