this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't deserve a penis
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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