Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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