She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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