Will you blow on my dice?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
