What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
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She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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