I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
