So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
