so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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