My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize