So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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