I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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