Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
