Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
