chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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