Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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