I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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