Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
