My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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