ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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