Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My pussy is not your playground.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
