Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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