yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
