I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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