I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize