I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
