Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
