I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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