I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
