just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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