..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
there was a trapeze. enough said
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Randomize
