i already hear my dad disowning me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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